Nothing more (the unsaid)
How did I know I’d made it? When I didn’t know, nor did I need to know, what time of the day or day of the week it was. When I got up when I was done sleeping and when I went to sleep when I was tired. When I went for walks in the dark and stayed inside in the sunshine because nothing was finite, nothing was going to be missed, everything would come again once more. When the weather became the world in which I lived rather than the topic of conversation. When the world lay open before me and my only boarder the horizon, I walked for miles until I was weary, and there I laid and made my bed. When I was cold I shivered, when I was warm I grew content.
When I had nothing I owned the world, an animal whose experience was Real: no life, nor death, only Is and Is Not, no I, only Am, no past, present, future, only Now, nothing conditional but the visceral organicity of being.
~ I, who have nothing (February, 1988)
I don’t know when it all got so mental but we’re all integral to the bedlam – there’s no getting away from it. So I don’t personally believe our first approach should be to ‘fight the power’ so much as to be wholly aware (or as much as you can possible teach yourself to be) of exactly how far removed you are from the most base conditions necessary for human existence. I’m not saying we need to revert to this at all, but as a point of departure (a useful a priori) it’s a good starting point to develop from. We can argue (age-old-arguably) that it ‘starts’ in the material world: the organic necessities and conditions of our existence. But we are so removed from this that probably all that’s really left is pretty much just consuming and excreting. Eating, drinking, pissing and shitting. And you know what? We are ashamed of these. Girls don’t even poo at all.
What is freedom? Once again, this is not as important as question as why is freedom. And this is not me being deliberately obtuse, it’s genuinely asking you why does freedom exist? Its a basic questioning of the unsaid, and it is precisely this form that should be your most primary approach in any attempt to de-construct anything you hold to be a social norm (and believe me, if it’s a ‘social norm’ it doesn’t take much to strip it bare). And yes, I am preaching now and telling you I believe that you have a responsibility to de-construct these social norms, understand how you replicate and reproduce them and then why you do it. There is nothing to be ashamed of because we all do it – no one can live ‘outside’ of ideology. But just be aware. Train yourself to understand your insecurities, investigate why they exist and interrogate yourself on which actions are ‘genuine’ (if this is possible at all) and which actions are essentially part of your own social schizophrenia.
If freedom only exists because there is non freedom then non freedom only exists because there is freedom. Ultimately, these concepts nullify each other. All that is left is the sad idea that we had to invent the terms in the first place. By the way this post isn’t about freedom, it’s just as example. And nothing in this is concrete. As always, these are words for anyone to use. I encourage you to plagiarize and give no credit. If it is senseless, then good also. Because now you can see that the senseless makes sense to some people. Or maybe I’m thinking exactly what you’re thinking but could never express it in a way that you could understand. In that case, it’s beautiful.
Take what you want, leave nothing; all I ask is that, in return, you give it away. Because if you really think about the bedlam around us, we really need nothing more.