Diary ~ 17th Feb, 184- (DIE HARSHAM DIE)
David Harsham. To merely write the man’s name brings a sickness to my stomach. To utter them is to have repugnant words forced into my throat, and only by involuntary regurgitation to snake forcibly through lips no matter how tightly pursed. They infect the ink of my pen, soil the paper on which they fall – no more a diary, the pages I have scratched with that detestable name are fit only for the filth of a chamber-pot.
I am going to take time to go about removing that man’s name (my mouth turns bitter at the mere thought of its referee) from the few entries of this document thus far. A person of such traitorous principles belies his status as ‘doctor’ and it shames me to think that I share the same field of expertise with such a wretch. And that only a few days ago I expressed a hope to refer to him as friend! FRIEND!
What could he possibly know of madness? What person of such self-imposed eminence, a bastard boat-licker who has known only sanity can pass judgement on that which he knows absolute bugger!? Only those who have experienced sicknesses which infects the minds of even the greatest men know it’s true horror; only recovered patients such as myself have known the soul-tearing fear of the lucid-nightmares, the voices mocking as you beg for mercy and yet did not follow the path of promised sanctity to ultimate darkness and silence offered by rope and blade.
How DARE he undermine the significance of my experience. I am vexed beyond my most extreme capacities and have only myself to thank that I have not broken again. For if I could even recollect the state in which I entered Leavesden hospital it would be enough to have me re-committed.
Let this be of note to all who should read these pages for it shall be the last time this accursed name appears here within: DAVID HARSHAM, “leading” psychiatrist of Leavesden Imbeciles Asylum is a FRAUDULENT, CHURLISH COCKCHAFER who deserves nothing less than a fate equal to Priam of Troy upon him and his family tree! Damn him and all who call him friend to the darkest reaches of hell!!
~ 17th Feb, 184-